Justice
by ConstantlyInBetween
Summary: Allison Smith has been chased and accused for being Kira for some time now. What happens when she gets rid of her biggest rival - and her notebook? Can a shinigami be trusted? And on top of all, which is more important - her ideals or love? (Rated T just
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is my very first Death Note-fanfiction and this first part is based on a dream I had some couple of weeks ago.**

**I do not own Death Note.**

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_I can't make any more mistakes..._

_I really can't remember what all has lead me to this situation. At this moment, the most successful detective on Earth – N, aka Near - was following me, wanting to eliminate me. I really should not make mistakes anymore. I know he uses the same weapon as me; he has also gotten a Death note from somewhere. And how do I know all of this, well, I have been investigating him. As for the most successful detective on Earth his private life was pretty easily leaked to me. How I did it, that'll stay a secret._

_Back to N, I didn't know if he had shingami eyes yet, but if he did, he'd be deadly dangerous to me. As long as my name was safe he'd have no chance of killing me. And yes, due to some investigation I had his real name – it was Nate River. The only problem was I didn't know his face and so I couldn't write his name on my Death note. And even if I could, killing him would only rise everyone's suspects on me now that he was after me. The thing was, he didn't know my name. He'd just been investigating me for some reason._

I held on to the black notebook in my bag. How could I hide it so that no one could prove me being Kira? Needless to say, my parents were pissed of even thinking that their little girl could be Kira. Especially my father. To be honest, sometimes I felt that, as bad as he felt, he was suspicious of me. My mother really didn't seem to understand the whole situation. She didn't believe in anything supernatural so she naturally thought that this was all just some really strange coinsidence. Makes sense – closely all criminals of the world die of heart attacks within a couple of years. Totally believable. But then again, what kind of mass murderer could kill with heart attacks? It's not that easy to cause a heart attack, after all. But for me, it was. I couldn't help but let an evil grin appear in my face.

"Ally, I really don't want to suspect you, but-"

"But I know you do! And why wouldn't you, there's really no one else to suspect than your _own daughter_!"

My bluff was beginning to be too simple. I couldn't come up with new arguments, so I just repeated the old things over and over. Maybe he'd get it eventually, and let it go. This was stupid – he wasn't even a cop! None that I knew was, actually. I must've left some clue of my identity at some point – there was no other reason anyone would even make me the prime suspect.

"Are you okay dear?" my mom asked me. We were going to a family meeting, and apparently I'd been sitting still for a while already. Blank staring had become my favorite hobby recently. "Yeah", I muttered and stood up.

Soon enough we left to our family meeting. With the Death note in my bag I checked my phone for new criminals – or victims rather. There were plenty of them and I made sure to remember where their names and faces were announced. It was important so that I could "do my thing" later in the evening.

My dad stopped the car and we got out. "I have to use the bathroom", I whispered to my parents and tip toed behind a corner. A few names won't hurt anyone… When I got back to our table, my father looked at me irritated. "Did you really have to go there now?" he asked. "I thought it'd be polite to go before we started to-"

There were three new people in the restaurant. They sat a few tables away from us, and immediately started observing our table. I felt shivers run up and down my spine as I looked at this guy… He was wearing all white, saggy clothes, his hair was also white and he was staring right at me. He looked a couple of years younger than me, but he was so small overall I really couldn't tell how old he was. He was twisting a lock of hair between his fingers.

Ryuk started to laugh behind my back and I looked behind me. "Somebody's in trouble", he simply told me. Damn shinigami…

I froze. I tried to keep my mind and face calm but found it almost impossible. If I panicked now, I'd announce "I'm Kira!" to the whole restaurant. I bit my lip absently. If someone noticed him looking at me, they'd probably think my uneasiness was due to a stranger staring at me. The truth was different, though; Ryuk's laughter had revealed his identity to me;

_Near._

Did he know my name? Had he done the deal with his shinigami? At least he seemed to notice me in a way… "I gotta go", I murmured and stood up. I saw Near write something in his Death note (in the middle of a restaurant?! What is he thinking?!" I started to count. 40 seconds until… I gulped.

The most terrible feeling in the world is to wait for your own death. Every second takes you closer to it, and you can't stop the time; you know that the end is near.

37…

38…

39…

Nothing happened. No pressure in chest, no sudden pounding of heart. I had only a few seconds to act, so I quickly moved out of sight and "collapsed". I didn't dare to breathe as I heard Near and his agents approach me. "I knew it would work", Near muttered and I felt a warm hand in front of my face, checking if I breathed or not. "I was hoping she'd be a little bit more of a challenge though". You have no idea, I thought and listened to the three men's fading voices. As soon as I was sure they'd gone I cleaned up my clothes and went back in.

"I'm sorry. I had to get some fresh air…" I muttered sitting down. Instead of starting a conversation with anyone I began daydreaming again.

_WHY couldn't Near kill me? He had all the tools to kill me… How did he not succeed?_

How on Earth did I survive this?! "It seems that Near isn't that great a detective after all", Ryuk pointed out. What are you talking about shinigami, I thought. Luckily Ryuk answered before I got irritated. "To your luck you have two L:s in your name", he explained. I frowned. "Near left the note with your name in it at his place. Your first name was written 'Alison', with only six characters."

Wow. The only thing I had hated my name for, had now… Saved me? "You don't seem satisfied", Ryuk told. In fact I was, I just couldn't start cheering when everybody else was talking about funeral. I sighed and pulled my mom's sleeve. "Let's go already. I promised to go out with girls tonight!" Mom let out a sigh of relief (such a family-loving person...) and dad agreed with us, too.

A wonderful silence filled our car as dad drove us home. Now it was time to write "Nate River" in my Death note. He should die in a couple of weeks. The way of dying was more difficult; would he die of a heart attack, everybody would suspect me even though Near and his gang thought I was dead… Accident it is, then.

I rushed to my own room as we got home. "Ryuk, we have to talk", I told the shinigami who was sitting on my chair all twisted. "And before you even think of a deal, I tell you to forget about it. I just want to ask you something." "I'm listening, but you know I may not give you the answer", Ryuk grinned. "If I forfeit ownership of this Death note, will the deaths I have written in it still continue?" Ryuk frowned and if there could be any expression in his dead eyes, he'd look confused. "You know that no one's ever tried it. I highly doubt though; they are still on those pages." "Thank you, I guess that's enough", I shrugged and started writing again.

"Oh dear, you must be busy studying?" my mother was suddenly behind me. "Y-yeah", I said quietly and hid my Death note under my arms. For cases like this I had luckily put some pictures on my table so I could easily disguise my Death note as a scrapbook. "What do you have there?" mom was already going to take the notebook from me. "DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!" I yelled and took a tighter hold of the notebook. A few pictures fell on the floor and mom picked them up, leaving my room. I collapsed on my bed and sighed.

I looked at the pages of my Death note, feeling sad. I was proud of myself for killing so many criminals, and I still wanted to purify the world and create a new one. Yet I couldn't continue like this. Near should be eliminated first. After that I'd be able to continue, perhaps. I should let the world forget about Kira for a while. I should let myself forget about Kira, too. That way everybody would believe that I'm not him.

"Ryuk… Can I ask you for something?"  
"What is it, Allison?"  
"After half a year has passed since Near's death, I want you to drop this Death note so that I'll pick it up."  
"Do you mean…"  
"Yes. I forfeit ownership of this Death note."  
"That's too bad. I already began to like this game… And you. But we'll meet again, Kira", the shinigami muttered and touched my forehead with a few fingers.

When I woke up, there was news of yet another Kira-murder in the television. "That Kira-guy must be stupid or something. Who can even commit such many murders without getting caught?!" I thought out loud and started to study for my psychology exam. I had relaxed enough today anyway…

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**A/N: Thank you for reading! To be continued ~**


	2. An offer

**A/N: Here we go again! :P Well, I 'promise' that I won't be uploading this this often in the future, I just happened to have to chapters ready already.  
And once again, I do not own Death Note.**

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_Time skip; 6 months later_

Justice.

Sometimes I wonder if there even is such thing as justice. I mean, isn't it all relative? I've been watching the news for some months now, and there's just news about this mass murderer, Kira. There's been a pretty long pause in his murders recently, but he's made me question my previous principles about almost everything.

No, it's not that I support him or anything. I just don't really think that what he's doing is absolutely evil. I think that it depends on the situation whether killing someone is right or wrong. Isn't it best if we have as little criminals in this world as possible? But then again, isn't the one who kills those people the most ruthless mass murderer of them all?

"Miss Smith, are you listening?" my teacher asked me. "Spacing out again?" I sighed. My thoughts were just getting interesting… "Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about that justice-thing we discussed some days ago in philosophy", I told him. He raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to share your thoughts with the whole class?" Not really, but never mind. I stood up and got to the blackboard.

"Let's see. Now that everybody's been talking about Kira and nothing else, I would like for you to write down if you support him or not. I don't want to know anyone's opinion in particular, so make this anonymous." My classmates glanced around suspiciously and small shuffles and whispers filled the air. Eventually, all of them wrote something down anyway.

What on Earth was I doing?! I took the papers and took a brief look at them. Most of them were against Kira, but some really supported him. I frowned and tried not to over-analyze their handwritings. It was still unknown to me why I even bothered ask them whether they supported Kira or not. Why did I care?

"I'll put it this way. Right here, in this cloud, is Kira. And his victims are all around the world. Had he not killed them, who knows how many more people would have been killed in process?" I drew a mind map presenting Kira's victims' supposed victims. "However, don't these killings make Kira the greatest mass murderer of them all, even when he did a favor to those who would've been the criminals' victims? How do we measure whether it is right or wrong that he is going?"

The whole class just stared at me. Being the shy and quiet person I am they were obviously taken by surprise that I really went and did something in front of them all. I never really let my opinions show during lectures.

With blush heating my cheeks I returned to my place as the class started discussing Kira again. My presentation had begged some serious questions amongst my classmates, and the conversation was already getting to become an argument. It was my time to start daydreaming again.

In my mind, there were teams Kira and Anti-Kira. I didn't feel like belonging to either of those: I did understand what Kira was trying to do, but his means were unacceptable. I could never kill another person, however criminal he or she might be. And heart attacks? How on Earth does someone cause heart attacks so systematically?

Our never-ending argument, that once was a lecture, finally ended. I took my turquoise backpack and headed to my favorite corridor in our entire school. I sat on the couch and began reading my favorite book, The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight. I was that kind of romantic and cheesy girl, I absolutely loved romantic books and kind of hoped that something like that would happen to me, eventually.

After a good while of reading, one of my classmates, Ryuzaki, came to me with a curious look in his large eyes. "Miss Smith?" he was definitely speaking to me, so I raised an eyebrow, gesturing that I heard him. "Just call me Ally, like everyone else does. No need to be formal", I muttered. "Thank you. So, Ally. What is your personal opinion about Kira? Judging by your arguments at the lesson I'd say you support him, but I want to be sure". What? I thought I made myself clear at the lecture. Was this guy stupid or something?

I shook my head. "I neither support nor oppose him. I just happen to have an interest on his doings, it's nothing personal really. And speaking of that, how come you got interested in talking to me right after I mentioned Kira?" I asked Ryuzaki. He simply shrugged. "Well, I also have an interest in this particular case. To me, Kira is a mass murderer. And it seems he thinks of himself as a God of some sort. As far as I can tell, it's more than that. Probably he wants to change this world to match his views. But that's just a theory of mine".

I raised my eyebrow. "How have you come up with all this?" I asked Ryuzaki. "Let's say I have my ways of getting to know things", he answered mischievously and took a bag of lollipops out of his pocket. He stuffed one orange-flavored candy in his mouth and began licking it happily. His appearance seemed to relax a lot after getting that sugary treat.

Ryuzaki had always been the bully of our class. I had known him from elementary school, from when we were both eight years old. He had his own way of sitting: hunched over (like his figure overall) and knees almost in his mouth. He never ate anything but sweets and he seemed not to get any sleep, ever. He hardly ever even talked to anyone, and if he did, it was via a phone that he held strangely with his thumb and index. A weird guy indeed.

I took a close look at Ryuzaki. He kind of creeped me out, or rather I felt unpleasant that he came so close to me all of a sudden. And besides, I wasn't too good with guys after all. But then again, there was something with Ryuzaki that made me feel safe with him. It was more than trust; he was so confident, although pretty awkward in a way.

"Ally. I have known you for a long time but you have never seemed to do anything as radical as what you did moments ago. When it comes to Kira, you seem to… Ah, never mind". I frowned. Where was he going with that? "Ryuzaki?" "You are not Kira, are you?" he blurted out.

I blinked a good few times. "Excuse me? Of course I'm not Kira! If I was Kira, I'd never bring that subject up during a lecture!" I exclaimed. Ryuzaki gave me a faintest of smile. "Good. Then I'd like to ask you something else. But that means we'll have to skip our lunch and lessons for afternoon. I'll make sure we can get something to eat, though", he promised and grabbed my hand.

Walking behind Ryuzaki I noticed that he had no shoes. It had never occurred to me before even though I had known him for more than ten years now. He always wore those baggy jeans so his feet were barely visible anyway. He didn't seem to really put much effort to his looks. His hair seemed that it hadn't been combed for years. And he always wore jeans and a white shirt that seemed to be at least two sizes too large.

My feet began to feel sore, but Ryuzaki just kept on going at a pretty quick pace. "Ryuzaki, where are we going?" I asked. Not that I got any response.

After roughly half an hour of quick-stepping, we stopped in front of an enormous building that looked like some sort of a police office. "Ally. There's something I would like you to do… With me", Ryuzaki told me. He didn't sound particularly enthusiastic, but come to think about it, he never did. "Umm, this is sudden", I muttered scratching my head nervously. "Look, you just have to come with me and make sure you'll never tell anyone about any of this. Simple as that", he said in his typical bored tone.

I didn't know how to react. I simply nodded and gestured Ryuzaki to continue with his talking. "I've been observing you, Ally, and I believe that I can trust you with this secret of mine", Ryuzaki began.

"I am L."

My eyes widened. Did he just tell me he was the greatest detective on Earth? The successor of N? My classmate? The Creepy Ryuzaki I had known for more than ten years? "Wow, that was… A surprise", I said quietly. I had always known he was special in a way, even a genius. But he was… L?

"I find your opinions very precious in solving this Kira-case. Even if he has stopped killing people about half a year ago, I really don't think he has given up on his killings for good. There's got to be something he is planning. And as for you, I think you would be a great help to us", Ryuzaki explained. He lead me through some corridors and safety systems and soon enough I found myself in a room filled with tv-screens, some odd-looking phones and a dozen computers.

"Wait a second. You want me to help you? I don't really think I can be too great of a help to you", I told Ryuzaki, who just stood there eating a strawberry he had gotten from a trail filled with goods. This was indeed his headquarters, there was no mistaking.

"You proved yourself being capable today at our lecture. You showed me you can handle this", Ryuzaki answered. I looked at him in shock. This was definitely not the thing I had expected to happen when I woke up this morning.. "Umm, care to explain?" I asked him. "I've already noticed that you look at each and every side of everything and you have an amazing sense of empathy. I want to ask you to help us in finding and eliminating Kira". There were no reasons for me to refuse, and I finally agreed to help Ryuzaki with his investigation. Maybe I'd get used to it.

There wasn't even a small smile on Ryuzaki's face. He just nodded, as if he already knew I'd accept his request. "Now I have to ask you to move in here: in that case you will be here right when we need you and we don't have to call each other to keep in touch. Do you think you can come back here in two hours?" he asked. "I'm not sure, but I'll come back as soon as I can."

I was walking down the street, the same road I walked to school every single day. This was definitely going to be one of the strangest of adventures I had ever had in my life. Playing detective with my classmate that just happened to be the greatest detective of them all.

I got to my home and packed up almost all of my clothes. I looked around restlessly – it felt as if I was being followed. For some reason it also felt like I would not come back here for quite some time.

I didn't really know what to think of Ryuzaki's theory that Kira is just resting. I'm sure he had lots of enemies so I had no doubt he could as well be dead. Messing with some serious criminals could easily cost Kira his life if he wasn't careful enough. Then again, there were no clues of Kira's identity anywhere in public.

Walking back to L's headquarters something fell literally from heaven to my way. The notebook was black and had "Death Note" written in its cover. Normally I would've just ignored the book, but now that it literally fell right in front of me I had to pick it up to see what it was…

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**A/N: Cliffhanger~~**

**Again, thanks for reading! :)**


	3. Encounters

**A/N: Umm, I guess I'm having some awesome flow going on right now so I'll update yet another part... This is all new to me, to be honest.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

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As soon as my fingertip met with the surface of the notebook I couldn't help but scream – loudly. It was as if somebody made me hallucinate after touching the note. The thing was, though, that this was no hallucination. These were all my own memories.

I had found this book a couple of years ago. I used it to purify this world. In my freetime, all I did was to write criminals' names in this very notebook. I made a mistake that made Near suspect me and I never got to know what the mistake was. And in the end, I killed Near. I won... Him.

I collapsed to the ground. The truth is… I am Kira. I am responsible for all the deaths Kira has caused. But then again… I am justice. I am the one that has decreased the world's crime rate so much. I am the one so many people trust in. I am the one that can create a perfect world with no evil. No one else possesses the same amount of power I do.

"Ryuk?" I whispered. The shinigami stroked a lock of my hair as he walked by. His eyes shimmered with excitement. "Long time, no see, Ally. Or, should I address you as Kira again?" he asked grinning like crazy. I simply walked by him and gestured him to follow me to my place. I knew I should head to L's headquarters, but this was more important.

Eventually we reached my place. I sat on my bed and looked at Ryuk frustrated. "We already discussed this back when we met. You should not talk to me in public, since I can't talk to you without looking stupid. Or rather, I would look completely nuts. So please, don't talk to me in public. Okay, with that out of the way. Even though Near has been eliminated I have another detective to be cautious of", I told the shinigami, who just wolved down some apples I had on my desk. I sighed.

"Ally, I must say, I really missed the juicy apples of your world", Ryuk told me, still munching some of the fruit. "Please clear your mouth before talking", I pointed out. Ryuk acted hurt and crossed his arms. "I was about to say I also missed you, but I guess I'll have to cancel that", he said in an annoyed tone. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Of course you have missed me. Without me, your life has been boring and there's no way of you denying it", I just told him and went to get him more apples.

When I came back, Ryuk was laying in my bed in that 'draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls – position of his. I rolled my eyes to my stupid shinigami and threw him some apples. "How's it been lately? I see you have moved on your own and started living your very own life already" Ryuk was trying to create a conversation?

I shrugged. "Maybe, but haven't you been following me from the shinigami realm? Of course you have!" Ryuk gave a small laugh. "Yes, you are indeed right with that. But then again, I'm not that kind of a clingy shinigami I have told you about. I can live without you, I'm definitely not in love with you or anything", he added. "That's good, because I'd find it pretty disturbing if the only person that ever fell in love with me was a god of death", I joked and punched Ryuk in the stomach.

Our little playful fight was disrupted by my ringing phone. "Yeah?" I answered. "Hey, Ally. You ready yet?" Ryuzaki asked. His voice sent shivers in my whole body, both pleasurable and unbearably uncomfortable. L had, in a mere two seconds, become my worst enemy. "Yeah, I'm on my way already", I answered, trying to sound normal. "Good."

After a while I arrived in headquarters and got in. There was an old man standing at the hall and he gestured me to follow him. "My name is Watari. I assume you're Allison?" he asked me politely. I nodded shyly and offered my hand. "Nice to meet you, Watari". He nodded and lead me to a room that looked more like a hotel room than an office, which I didn't know was even possible in this kind of a building. "Please make yourself at home", Watari constructed and left.

I sat on my bed and started looking out of the window. Now what? I had no way of killing anyone here. I'm sure L had surveillance cameras all around this place just for his safety. My Death Note wasn't safe here, either. How could I discuss anything with Ryuk in here? Was there any chance I could continue being Kira?

Over-thinking eventually gave me a headache and I just lay on my bed, gazing at the ceiling. If only I could eliminate L… That was my main principle from now on: I had to eliminate him. Kira had been resting for a while anyway, so I didn't need to start punishing criminals again yet. However, there had been so many crimes throughout the world lately…

"What can I do?" I muttered, mostly to myself. There was no way out of this now. I had to continue from where I was earlier. But how?

There was a knock on my door. "Ally, are you there?" I heard Ryuzaki call behind the door. "Yeah, please come in", I answered and he came to my room. "It's not too comfortable, but I hope it will be okay for now", he told me in an apologetic voice after looking around for a while. I gave him a smile. "It's okay, don't worry", I told him quietly.

We sat there in an awkward silence. "Umm, Ryuzaki, may I ask you something?" I began, acting as innocent as I could in my situation. "Go ahead", he answered and turned to look at me curiously. "You asked earlier if I was Kira… Is there a reason for you to suspect me?"

Ryuzaki turned to face me. "I found some files that claimed you to be Kira. They were left behind by Near, but there was no real evidence of you being Kira. And the point you brought out earlier – that you wouldn't talk about Kira in public if you were him – made me almost believe you are not him", he explained slowly. I nodded to show him I agreed. "However, you are not completely clear of suspects since there is something that made Near suspect you".

This is getting greater every second now. "But Kira's killings have already stopped? And it's been half a year since Near died? If I was Kira, I wouldn't have stopped killing people all of a sudden", I told Ryuzaki. He nodded and placed his thumb at his bottom lip. "I do agree with you on that."

I squinted my eyes at Ryuzaki. His reasoning was beginning to feel out of logic. "So, you're basically telling you lied to get me move in here?" I asked, looking straight in his eyes. "I wouldn't say I was lying. I just didn't tell you everything", he told me, with a slight smirk. Now he was trying to be funny?! "Are there more surprises waiting for me?" I asked, trying my best to hide my annoyance. Ryuzaki shook his head. "But I would like you to meet the rest of the task force", he added.

I didn't understand anything right now. If Ryuzaki suspected me, why would he even need my assistance in this case? It's not like he'd get any hints of who was Kira, because I wouldn't give him any. I would make sure not to make one mistake anymore. After all, I was the closest I could be to my biggest rival right now and I could use that to my advantage. By helping Ryuzaki I could earn his trust and eventually he would trust me with his name. And that's when I would eliminate him!

Ryuzaki cleared his throuat, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I recommend you to take an alias, just like everyone else in here. I'm addressed as Ryu, and the whole task force has an alias as well. How about you being called just A?" he suggested. I nodded. "Fine by me. There's no way I'd want to get killed by Kira", I bluffed.

Ryuzaki opened the door that lead to the room I had already been in. Now, in addition to the numerous gadgets shattered throughout the whole room, there were five men that were definitely older than Ryuzaki. "Everyone, meet A. She'll be working with us in this investigation", the raven-haired man introduced me to the men. "Yeah, hi everyone", I said, feeling more than a little nervous: these men were chasing _me,_ after all.

After a few minutes of introducing ourselves, I had gotten to know and immediately forgotten all of the task force members' (fake) names. "How did you find her?" the youngest of them asked Ryuzaki. "We met in university and she proved herself worthy of joining this investigation. She has an amazing talent of looking at each side of every case, which will certainly come in handy in solving this case. I find her being capable of even thinking about things in Kira's point of view", he answered.

"In Kira's point of view? Ryu, doesn't that make her suspicious to you?" the youngest of the task force members questioned. Ryuzaki shrugged. "There is no evidence of her being Kira, neither is there any proving she's not. But we shouldn't jump into conclusions."

I frowned. Why was he lying to the task force members? Not that I complain, though. It was nicer for me to work with these people knowing that they don't automatically suspect me being Kira. Besides, he didn't say he didn't suspect me. He just said they - we - shouldn't jump into conclusions. Despite being socially awkward and all, Ryuzaki definitely knew how to handle people. He may not have empathy and social skills like that, but he clearly _knew_ how human mind works. And that's what made him dangerous to me if he ever suspected me more than he did now.

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**A/N: I'm honestly sorry, this is quite a confusing chapter as well as the previous one was, I guess... I promise it'll be better in the future as we get to know the characters better!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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